were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
