fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
