Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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