In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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