I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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