Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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