ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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