With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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