big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
