Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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