Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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