This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
