like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
