I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
