guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
