i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
