I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
