seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's the barista slut.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
