new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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