why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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