Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
