Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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