I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
