He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
