how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
