so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
