oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
