my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
