I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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