white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize