Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
that is very illegal...i love you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
