Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
