his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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