I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
