I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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