i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
