i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize