i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
