11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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