If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She bit a glass in half.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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