im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
