is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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