So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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