Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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