just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
