dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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