This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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