Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
