I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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