Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
