there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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