I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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