you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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