I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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