i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
