i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize