So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
