You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
