yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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