oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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