So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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