i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
